school was as boring as usual, despite the fact that there was the filming thing by MOE. Had lunch with peiying, imai and weixin after school. They're great people. (:

emotions are scary. and i've realised that my moods like to swing, and at extremes. ): that is bad- but I can't help it, can I? I hate it. I'm sorry nicholas. ): I never meant to hurt you in anyway. My words can be blunt but they were never meant to hurt. I'm sorry for being such a emotional freak today.

I know, I know that you trust me. I know that you have nothing to do with those girls. But I still can't help feeling upset because these girls hurt me so much at one point of time. wounds do heal over time, but serious ones leave scars. ): would you please understand that?

I'm like a headstrong sort of person. I like to dominate. I like to be in control. I'm stubborn and I like to go against. Even when i feel weak, I'll just act like I don't give a flying fuck and act like i'm a rock. I was like that right from the start. ): I know you've gave in to me many, many times during our 1yr and 2 months together, I know. and sweetie, i really thank you for that and i do love you.

and precisely because my character is like that, i really can't stand things not going the way I want them to be. ): thats why its so hard for me to accept sometimes that the world doesn't revolve around me alone. that is why sometimes i find it hard to accept things. I know my faults, and honey if you really tried to notice, you would have known that i am changing- changing all for you, even though its gradual. ):

i know i still have my moods and all that, but i've climbed my virgin step towards being a better person, a better girlfriend to you. ): I do listen to you now and I do try to understand your situation and all that, and thats why I'm compromising too. I'm not going to be stubborn and obstinate and dominating or whatever and I will let you have your way too, okay? Anything to keep this relationship going on strong.

I've been unreasonable and all that and demanded breakups, but I've never really meant my words. ): Its just too great a love for me to give it up, really. It's just simply too hard because I love you so much. 1yr and 2 months might be really short to others, but it means a lot to me, it represents the time we've been together and how long we've loved each other. ): remember how we got together right after the 3rd day of knowing each other? I can honestly tell you that I've never regretted my decision despite all the anger I've felt and all the tears I've cried for this relationship. because sweetheart, I will never find another like you. okay muffin's husband? muacks. love love!

I'm just glad we cleared things up. nicholas lim ting li is my sweetheart, was my sweetheart, and will always be my sweetheart. he has been my sweetheart ever since God wore diapers. :D


I love you no matter what.

bloody hell, this post is not coherent nor smooth at all. shows how distracted my thoughts are when i'm feeling fucked up.