because even heros have the right to bleed

I cried.

Today was meant to turn out all well and good, because I was going to spend some time with my classmates, with the added bonus of watching POTC. Then adults ruined it all. I hate it when they act so unreasonable and forget about a most basic value: the keeping of a promise.

All I did was to keep my promise and meet my friends for the movie. That's all. but my tutor and mom had to blow it all up. This outing was planned a week ago. A week ago. and the extra tuition lesson was planned 2 days ago. Being logical, I obviously chose to hang out with my friends because the lesson was never meant to be there anyway, and I've already promised about the movie. I was merely keeping a promise. and it's not like I won't go for a make-up extra lesson.

Then my crap tutor and mom got mad at me and yelled at me to get my priorities right. Friends and meetings weren't important, studies are, tuitions are. What the fuck right. They both proposed to buy the movie ticket from me. That's just plain fucked-up of them because saving the ticket money wasn't even the point. I just wanted to keep a promise and why should I sacrifice the movie for a tuition slot that wasn't even supposed to be there? Besides, I did tell the fucking tutor that I wasn't free, but no, he had to blow it up and call up my parents and talk cock about how the lesson's very important when most of the time he just yells and make mistakes. I even have to correct his work sometimes. and naturally my parents followed up- no wait just my mom- yeah she had to yell and scream and shriek. Fuck.

What wrong did I do? I kept a promise, that's all. Besides, I did go for tuition, the only fucking difference is the timing. Isn't it the same? Adults don't get it, do they? It's just so screwed up. I got yelled at even when I did the right thing by going to the class. All because of? All because I tried to tell my mom reasonably that I had a promise to keep and the class didn't even exist when I made the promise. and also because I didn't admit I'm wrong. What the fuck? She got pissed when I tried to explain, then why the flying fuck did she want me to explain in the first place when she was going to rebutt anyway?

She keeps yapping on about how I'm so fucking useless and a liar and a bum. and claims that tuition is the only hope for me. and its hope beyond hope. Fuck you. She was being plain unreasonable. Why in the world did she even let me live this fucked up life then? She should have just got me aborted, shouldn't she have done so?

Yeah fine, I've watched two movies this week. but so what? I've not watched any fucking thing for months. Is it wrong to watch movies? Is it wrong to indulge in myself once in a while? and guess what my mom said, you're a student, you have no right to enjoy. Fuck that.

What's more, she keeps lamenting that she has to work so hard just to feed a bunch of useless fools. Kill all of us then! Stab us to death! Poison us! It's so fucked up to live this kinda life anyway. and she does this stupid reflection thing where she talks to herself (on purpose), in a voice loud enough for us to hear, and starts to say stuff like why are they like that, what did I do to deserve such a life, why must I slog my life out to feed such people. What the fuck?! She blew the whole thing into such a big issue.

That woman kept asking me to voice out anything I disagree with and I told her why should I when she's not going to agree with me anyway. Then she started shrieking about how she has the right to say she's always right because she feeds me. she says of course she's always right. What the fuck? She says I must obey her and blahblah. see the term she used? I'm not a fucking slave for goodness' sake.

She yelled so much at me and guess what she said? Since when did I scold you? I was only talking to/reminding you. What kind of statement is that? It's such a blatant lie. Disgusting.

Then she had to talk about my new school bag. I did no fucking wrong by buying it with my own money. I saved up for it! She started screaming that I have no right to buy anymore bags but SHE'S THE ONE WHO SAID I SHOULD SAVE UP FOR WHATEVER I WANT! She started shrieking and yelling when all I did was to save up my pocket money for something I like. How unreasonable can she get? Then when she had nothing else to say, she acted all sad and resigned and said she felt sad. and that I must have too much pocket money. What the fuck? Is it wrong to save? Is it wrong to be able to save? Does saving equates to too much pocket money? Fuck.

She says she doesn't splurge. Oh yeah, she doesn't. 10k for a fucking bracelet isn't anything. TEN THOUSAND BUCKS. 11k for a necklace. nothing. ELEVEN THOUSAND BUCKS. and my bag's only 60 bucks. So what's her problem? She buys jewellery all the time, ALL THE TIME. Clothes too. Bags too. Doesn't splurge? Who will believe?

Fucking adults. They don't prioritise either, do they? Shouldn't they love their kids a little more than shout like that? Shouldn't they get their facts right? Shouldn't they be a little more reasonable? Shouldn't they stop their bullshit?

SO what if you(tutor) still can't find a girlfriend and so what if you(mom) is going through menopause? I am not here to be vented on.

I've had enough of it.


and dusk nears,
Dawn